Just say “small”

It was a church mission trip that turned me into a coffee drinker.

So during the recent Missouri Baptist Convention, it was no surprise that within three hours of our arrival in St. Louis, we were at a Starbucks.

It’s always a little confusing ordering there, with the hoity-toity Italian (or is it Latin?) names for their drinks. A sportswriter told me he never orders a “venti” because he’s not sure how to pronounce it. And I thought I was the only one! I also don’t order it because a person of my size should not consume that much caffeine in one setting.

The smallest sized cup at Starbucks is called “tall.” This is confusing.

And, although I can’t quite explain why, a little offensive.

Is Starbucks ashamed to say “small?” Is is patronizing the little cup, so as not to hurt its delicate little feelings? Perhaps the politically correct wave has swept over the coffee bar and “small” has been blacklisted.

I am here to draw myself up to my full height of 5 feet, one-half inch (I made the nurse measure last time I went to the doctor, just in case I’d grown) and proclaim…

I am not tall. I am small! And I am not ashamed!

When I stepped up to order at Starbucks, I peered over that counter and I told the barrista, “Vanilla latte, please. Small.”

And I was proud – Proud! – to say it.

“Which of you by worrying can add one cubit to his stature?” Matthew 6:27